Sincerely Yours, If You Can Catch Me
by Tramontana Keeper
Summary: The high point of Erwin's day during his stint in the Military Police was receiving rude letters from Levi after each time he failed to capture him. Falling in love was probably an inappropriate response.


_Kind of an Erwin/Levi version of 'Catch Me If You Can'. Very fluffy._

* * *

Erwin woke up slowly on his birthday. He rolled out of bed, just a bit later than he should, and felt his lips twitch into a smile at the warmth of sunlight on his face. Then he got up and washed, shaved, went through all of his comfortable morning routine, all the while keeping the window safely at the corner of his vision. He'd already noticed the square of white, out of place, shoved in the crack between the frame and the sill.

Like a favorite food, Erwin wanted to savor the anticipation of enjoying it. It wasn't the first time he'd received a letter but usually they came at random, always showing up unexpectedly. The only day he could count on a letter appearing was his birthday. It had been a sort of promise between them, one kept faithfully for the past two years. A short tradition, but a tradition nonetheless.

Before going down to mess he decided to reclaim the letter, unable to resist its promise any longer. It was better to hide it away as soon as possible, anyway. The rest of the Military Police wouldn't be pleased with him exchanging letters with a known criminal, if someone were to happen across it. As it was they weren't particularly pleased with him because Erwin actually took the job seriously, and that displeasure had finally found expression in a transfer. His time had run out.

Erwin slid the envelope carefully out of its crack, smoothing the slight wrinkles from the paper. There was no name on the outside of the cheap envelope, which enclosed a sheet of similarly cheap writing paper. Erwin unfolded it carefully. The ink letters were clearly written, marching straight across ruled lines, but the hand was unsophisticated. It tried to be cursive but wasn't quite trained. Some of the letters connected to each other or half-connected, and some just stood free and lonely. Erwin found the penmanship endearing.

_My Dearest Erwin,_ it began. Erwin stopped there, wondering suddenly how long it had been since he had graduated from just _Erwin_ as a salutation. Erwin set the letter down on his bed and reached over to the private file he kept on Levi. He had another one, of course, a public one, which documented his crimes, escapes, and all they knew of his personality and habits, and was kept prominently displayed in his office. Erwin had been the major contributor to that file. The other was Erwin's secret, and that was where he filed the thirty-odd letters he had received in the past three years since he'd begun the chase. Erwin slid it out of its hiding place behind the bed and began leafing through, skipping back until he found that it had been three months and seven letters since he'd been elevated to his current status. Before that, _Dearest Erwin_ had persisted for two months, while its predecessor _Dear Erwin, the MP Who Doesn't Suck As Much_ only graced two letters.

Erwin, for his part, after switching from _Esteemed Adversary_ to _My Esteemed Adversary,_ had also gone through _Levi, My Esteemed Adversary,_ and_Levi, My Dearest Most Esteemed Adversary_, all the way to the current _Levi, My Dearest, Unparalleled, Most Esteemed Adversary_. Levi seemed to find his long salutations entertaining.

Curiosity satisfied, Erwin returned to his bed to continue reading the current installment.

_My Dearest Erwin,_

_Oh look, you're a year closer to death, you old fart. I hope you've learned something from the many times I've escaped your grasp, and can turn a trick or two against the Reaper. But don't worry, you're probably too fat for him to carry. Watching you use Maneuver Gear is like watching a cow waltz. Entertaining, but embarrassing beyond belief._

Erwin remembered the first time he'd failed to capture Levi. They'd cornered him in the slums of Sina, alone because he'd sent away his co-conspirators to escape while he drew off pursuit. Erwin and his men followed him willingly because Levi was the true target. And then, in a dead-end cul-de-sac, Levi had flung back his cloak to reveal Maneuver Gear and leapt into the air. Erwin had stood for a moment, stunned, both by his nerve and by his beauty in the air. Levi moved like a bird, light as a gust of wind, elegant as a dancer. He'd seen people train for years and never look so at home in the air. Levi had evaded them skillfully and vanished into the darkness of Lower Sina.

_I hope you've learned your lesson after our last skirmish. You might be a bit less than useless, but if you set bribable guards to watch me I will take advantage of that. Positively sloppy on your part. I was so embarrassed for you I considered staying and escaping later when it was actually a challenge. I would hope you got court-martialed for stupidity, but if they did that, the entire Military Police would have been long imprisoned, so I assume they don't bother. Maybe you got a commendation, instead. They often reward incompetence._

The second time Erwin had tried to capture Levi he'd done a much better job of it. They'd surprised Levi at a burglary and managed to get so far as clapping manacles on his wrists and ankles, chaining them together behind his back. Levi had looked mildly impressed, which had annoyed Erwin no end at the time but which he could now appreciate better, as he knew how little regard Levi held for members of the military. He'd taken his eyes off Levi for _three seconds_ and when he turned back Levi was smirking at him cheekily, swinging the open shackles on one finger. Then he'd run.

Erwin had learned, since then, that there were very few locks Levi couldn't pick.

_A new bakery opened on the lower end of the Fourth Quarter, and their strudel is surprisingly non-shitty. The owner is recently widowed and could use the cash, and since I know you're swimming in money and shit diamonds, I'm telling you about this. You may share this information with other fat pigs of your acquaintance._

The first letter from Levi had arrived shortly after the third time Erwin had failed to capture him. Erwin had managed to anticipate him, that time, caught him at the scene of the crime and even managed to prevent it. Despite escaping, Levi had apparently been so impressed that he'd written Erwin a long, completely offensive letter full of bravado and suggestions about where Erwin could stick his blundering self. Erwin had found it rather sweet, and told him so on the reply. Levi's second letter had been nothing more than a page of creative insults.

Completely by chance, they'd met in the street shortly after and Erwin, instead of starting another protracted chase on his leave time, had invited Levi out for drinks. To his surprise, Levi accepted, and proved interesting, if rude, company. At the end of the evening, Levi had covered the tab, telling Erwin condescendingly that 'he knows how much soldiers make', to which Erwin had replied that not all of them had the luxury of being leeches on the back of society. Just before leaving, Levi had yanked him down by the shirt collar and planted a kiss on his surprised mouth.

_You seem to like me,_ Erwin wrote to him in the next letter, and received another paragraph of invective in reply.

_There was a murder-burglary in Upper Sina last week. While I don't give a shit about the death of Duke Nosek, because he supported slave trade and liked murdering whores, his wife and children never did anything wrong and didn't deserve to die. I just want you to know that I had nothing to do with any of that, so keep your overzealousness to yourself. Arrest me (if you can) for things I've actually done. The culprits frequent the Donkey's Ear (this is a hint blatant enough for even an idiot like you)._

Erwin made note to himself to investigate – well, to pass on the tip. He wouldn't be investigating much anymore. This wasn't the first time Levi had volunteered information, though in truth Erwin wouldn't have tied him to the event anyhow. Levi didn't like collateral damage. His crimes were mostly elegant and carefully planned.

_The other day, I was walking through the streets of Lower Sina, and the reflection of the sky in the pools of stagnant sewer water reminded me of your eyes._

Humor tugged at Erwin's lips. Levi himself was beautiful in Erwin's opinion, though his features were too sharp to be classically handsome. He had so much _personality_ in him, though he mostly kept his expression deadpan. Erwin loved breaking through the mask, loved penning words that he knew would make Levi groan aloud in frustration, though usually he only had Levi's written responses to gauge his reactions by.

_A stray cat came by my place, an awful mangy thing. I gave it a bath and sent it on its way. At least it should be clean. Later, it climbed back through my window and made a mess of my pantry. Now you're adding that information to your file, aren't you? As if that could help you track me to my current house. Go ahead and try._

Levi constantly moved around to evade the police. Erwin had managed to track him down only once, completely by accident. It was spring of last year. He'd been chasing rumours of a smuggler ring and marked a house he thought was one of their storage areas. It was quiet, nobody going in or out. The place itself was shoved between two buildings, no visible entrance, but there was one window – big enough to climb out of, and set in a place you wouldn't expect a window to be, because there shouldn't have been a room there at all. Erwin had climbed up, carefully slid open the window's latch, and slipped inside. The room was tiny and bare, little more than four walls and a window, no sign of smuggled goods anywhere. Instead, a jug of water and an empty chamber pot sat near a pallet on the floor, where a figure was curled up under a veritable pile of blankets. Erwin stepped over lightly, doing his best not to allow the floorboards to creak, but he needn't have worried. The floor was clearly built to render occupants of the room inaudible.

Carefully, he peeled back the blankets to find Levi, face slick with sweat and eyes clouded. He was positively out of his head with fever. Erwin touched a hand to his forehead to find it flaming, and the small man was shivering under his blankets. He didn't seem to recognize Erwin, but moaned softly when Erwin pressed a cool hand to his cheek.

This was his chance, Erwin had known. All his manipulation, all his cleverness, and he'd never been as close as this to being able to imprison Levi. He could just carry Levi into headquarters, have him locked away before he recovered, bury him so deep he'd never get out. Or executed, his mind whispered, because Levi'd been on the lam too long already.

Was he so incompetent, that he couldn't best Levi in a fair fight, but had to bring him down when the man was already half-dead from disease?

Erwin cut off a corner of blanket, dunked it in water and settled it on Levi's forehead in the meantime, then climbed out the way he'd come in search of food for him. He returned soon after with a small pot of rich meat soup bought in the street. With Levi seated in the crook of his arm, head against Erwin's shoulder, he spooned soup carefully into him, and then cleaned up the little that dribbled down his chin. He didn't think it was his imagination; Levi looked a bit more alive afterwards, more color in his cheeks, though he still didn't seem to have much clue what was going on.

Erwin had helped Levi back under the blankets, kissed him once on the forehead, then replaced the wet cloth. Before he could consider all the reasons why this was utterly daft, he climbed back out the window and continued on his original search for the smugglers.

A week later, Erwin returned to the hidden room to find it empty, with no sign of occupation.

The next time they met Levi gave him a searching look but didn't say anything, leaving Erwin to wonder if he remembered their brief meeting or thought it a fever-dream. Either way, it hadn't kept Levi from making off with several canisters of gas for the 3DMG right from the Military Police compound.

_I would treat you to dinner, but you'd arrest me, wouldn't you?_

Erwin's smile faded a bit. He _liked_ Levi, probably a whole lot more than he should. For a time, he'd thought maybe that was enough; maybe he could coax Levi to turn himself in, for Erwin's sake. But Levi ran and ran, until Erwin could hardly imagine how there were still places in Sina for him to hide.

Less than a year ago, late one snowy night, Erwin had received the shortest letter yet in response to birthday wishes.

_What if we just stop_, Levi had written. _I'll stop running. You stop chasing. I'll stay away from you. I'll keep my head down. I'm tired._

Erwin's hand had shaken while writing his reply. _Turn yourself in. I'll make it easy for you. I'll get you all the lenience I can. Serve your time. You don't have to be alone any more._

When Levi hadn't responded immediately, Erwin had sent him another, hoping that maybe he could end this game of theirs, bring Levi in – and maybe some day in the future he could meet Levi as a free citizen and –

Levi hadn't replied. The next time they'd skirmished, he looked tired but determined, moment of weakness gone. Erwin was embarrassed to admit to himself how relieved he was to see Levi still unbroken.

_So buy a cake and eat it alone. Happy Birthday. See you around._

_Sincerely yours, if you can catch me,_

_Levi_

Erwin sighed. He reread the letter, then folded it back up and slid it into its envelope.

After breakfast, he sat down to pen his response. He hesitated over the salutation, wondering if to go all-out and write a whole page of it for Levi's amusement, but in the end decided not to. Not this time.

_My Levi,_ he wrote.

_This is the last letter you will receive from me. I have been "promoted" to the Scouting Legion, ostensibly as a result of my achievements in the Military Police, but in truth because it is the best place to send nosy officers. I may not live to my next birthday – the Scouting Legion is harsh to her soldiers. It would please the Military Police if I were to die rapidly. I have no intention of surrendering easily, but I confess I am uncertain. I have never fought a titan in reality. Chasing you has been excellent preparation, in terms of evasive maneuvers. I will do my best to avoid the Reaper as long as possible._

_I had thought to exhort you once more to surrender yourself, if only temporarily, so that I can at least crown the end of my career with your capture. I find, upon consideration, that I much prefer thinking of the misery you will undoubtedly inflict on my successor. Give them hell for me._

_Because I have little doubt that you will continue to evade the rest of the Military Police with the ease with which you have always extracted yourself from my grasp, I feel safe in wishing you congratulations on your freedom. Years from now, when my chewed-upon remains lie in an unmarked grave – if I am so lucky to have my corpse retrieved – I hope you will think back on me fondly._

_I will miss your letters. I have yet to meet a man who can turn an offensive phrase the way you can. I would have liked to kiss you once more before I leave. It has been so difficult for us to snatch moments to ourselves, has it not?_

_Yours, because you never had to catch me,_

_Erwin Smith_

Erwin blotted the paper and added his signature at the bottom. Done. With a slight feeling of hollowness, he folded the letter and sealed the envelope.

He spent the rest of the day with preparations for leaving. Most of it involved returning requisitioned items, as he'd already briefed the people inheriting his job on the particulars. He handed over his office, including the public file on Levi. There wasn't much for him to take to the Scouting Legion because it would provide him with whatever he needed, from uniforms to underwear.

In the afternoon he found a moment to duck out of HQ to send the letter to Levi. He wandered the streets until he saw a likely-looking crowd of urchins, chased them down, and handed them the letter along with a handful of coins. None of them would admit to knowing Levi, but somehow Erwin's letters always found their target.

Once, he'd considered trying to track them, but decided against it. There was no guarantee he could have followed the trail all the way to Levi, but any attempt would surely have ended their correspondence.

Late that night, after saying the few goodbyes he had to, he retired to his room. Once more, he took out the scrapbook of Levi's letters. With careful fingers he added the final letter to the collection and fanned the many empty pages. They cascaded easily, a promise that would never be filled. Then he spent a few minutes running fingers over the leaves of cheap, brittle paper, trailing along the careful ruled lines of text. He traced the letters of his name and thought back to the few times he'd heard Levi say it aloud. He thought of the few times he'd held Levi – that time, when Levi had been sick, had been the only one that hadn't been a fight.

No more. Tomorrow he would join the Scouting Legion, would reunite with some old friends and perhaps make a few short-lived new ones. Erwin closed the book decisively and, before he could regret, dropped it in the fireplace. It burst into flame, the fire eating three years' worth of words in an instant. He could leave no evidence of what they had shared.

And now, this chapter of his life was finished.

* * *

Erwin left at dawn. He had nobody else to part with and no reason to drag out his farewell. He rode slowly through the still-sleeping streets of the capital, glad he could at least keep the horse he'd trained with for years. There wasn't much else he wanted to bring with him, anyway. All was quiet at this hour. The regular citizens hadn't yet awoken, and the criminals had already gone to bed. He wondered what Levi was doing, then forcefully pushed the thought away. Levi was no longer part of his life.

He reached the end of the streets, flush up against the wall itself. Half-awake guards hailed him and inspected his transfer orders indifferently, then motioned him to wait while they cranked the great gates open.

He wasn't going to look back, Erwin told himself as he waited, as a slit of green and sky grew between the stone of the street and the portcullis, as he rode forward into the unknown - but at the last minute couldn't resist a final look at the turrets that had been his home for his entire life.

And just like that, he was outside the wall. Ahead of him, across a stretch of land, Wall Sina blocked out the sky, hiding Wall Rose and his final destination of Wall Maria. Even at this hour there were a few travelers on the road. Throughout the day crowds of people hopeful to enter the Capital for trade and petitioning the King would gather, but for now, it was still peaceful. It would take him about a day's ride across the rich towns and fields of Sina to get to the next wall, and from there the time would only lengthen as the walls grew larger. The weight of his future grew suddenly heavy, making Erwin slump for a moment on his horse and sigh, eyes closed.

"Took you long enough."

His eyes flew open. Standing by the side of the road was a cloaked figure, dressed for riding, his horse tethered to a tree behind him. Short of stature but powerfully built, he reached up to toss back his hood. Somehow, Erwin wasn't surprised in the least that it was Levi.

"Good to see you again," he said. Since he wasn't in too much of a hurry, he dismounted. Levi didn't like talking up at people.

"The hell was this?" Levi asked, brandishing a crumpled piece of paper that Erwin recognized as last night's letter. "This is the whiniest shit I've ever seen. What was it you wrote? Something about your disgusting chewed up corpse? Pathetic."

Erwin stopped a few steps away from Levi and smiled. "Who else could I whine to?" he asked. "I simply took advantage of my captive audience. Did you come to see me off? If you intended to surrender it's a bit late. You should have done it inside Sina."

"Tch. No way." Levi's face twisted in revulsion. "I came because…" Uncharacteristically, he trailed off. His ears looked just a bit flushed. Erwin had never seen that look on him before, and was intensely glad for the experience.

"Sina sucks," Levi finally said. "I'm sick of living in hidden rooms and eating crap. Sick of running away. I hear the Scouting Legion's always recruiting. I could show them a thing or two about using Maneuver Gear, I bet."

"You're coming with me?" Erwin said, hardly believing his ears.

"Of course not!" Levi snapped. "I just happen to be joining the Legion the same time you are. And taking the same road as you."

Erwin felt his smile return even wider. He took the last step to bring him right against Levi and brought both hands up to his face. Levi didn't resist the gesture at all, just tilted his head and allowed Erwin to curl his fingers around the back of his neck, where they were tickled by Levi's short hair, and stroke his thumbs over Levi's sharp cheekbones. Levi wasn't forbidden any longer, so Erwin allowed himself to admire his pitch-black shock of soft hair, the clear gray of his eyes like a frozen waterfall waiting for the thaw to expose the roiling beneath, the pale color of his lips. Levi was still under his hands, cool and relaxed, unafraid. Nothing like the hellion he'd always been when Erwin cornered him. Maybe because there were no corners here at all, just open fields.

"If I had known that cutting you loose was all I needed to keep you, I would have done it years ago," Erwin murmured, and leaned down for a kiss. Levi spent the first few seconds complaining furiously into his mouth before he shrugged and kissed Erwin back, hands grabbing possessively at Erwin's hips.

They pulled apart reluctantly. Erwin could only manage it by reminding himself that they would have many more opportunities, however many they wanted. Levi licked his lips, which was endearing, then wiped his mouth with the back of his hand, which was even more so.

Erwin stroked his hands through Levi's hair one last time, mussing it so he could watch Levi curse and finger-comb it back into place. He'd never had the opportunity to see Levi's responses to just _living_. He was looking forward to cataloguing every single one.

"Shall we go?" Erwin suggested. "Since we both seem to be headed in the same direction, we could keep each other company along the way."

Levi pretended to think it over, then shrugged. "I guess, as long as you keep me entertained." He went to retrieve his horse's reins from where they were looped around a low-slung tree branch.

Erwin mounted again as well, noting with pleasure how well Levi sat his horse, and how they would have no trouble pacing each other. The days of travel ahead seemed enticing.

"I don't mind, now, that yesterday I burned all the letters you sent me," Erwin told him.

Levi turned to him. "You burned all my letters?" Then his eyes widened comically. "Wait, you _kept them?_"

"You didn't?"

Levi turned red and floundered through protestations, which made Erwin laugh. He didn't mind leaving, he thought, as the wall slowly neared. He was bringing the best of Sina with him.


End file.
